


Album Inspired Songs

by writing_and_procrastinating



Category: Real Person Fiction, Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Reader-Insert, School Shootings, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14946602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_and_procrastinating/pseuds/writing_and_procrastinating
Summary: This includes smut. Read at own risk.





	1. In My Blood

He didn’t know what was wrong with him, why he felt the way he felt. Like the walls were suffocating him, cutting off his air supply, like his eyes couldn’t see properly anymore, the blood pounding in his ears, his quick heartbeat echoing in them while he was laying on his bathroom floor, trying to regain his breathing. Nothing was helping, he tried drinking alcohol to ease his mind, even over-the-counter medicine didn’t help him. He couldn’t do this anymore, he felt like giving up even though he knew this wasn’t this right way to handle this. As soon as he was alone the demons in his mind would whisper the toxic thoughts he didn’t dare to speak, making him want to escape, crawling at his skin to get it to stop. But no matter what he did, nothing was helping his situation. He wasn’t himself, this was not the boy from Toronto everyone knew and loved any more, this was a different person, a person he didn’t even recognise himself. His insecurities got the best of him even though he didn’t want them to win, he just couldn’t help it, the self-conscious thoughts kept clouding his mind, telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he would never be good enough. When asking his friends what he could do, they usually told him it would get better, he was young and already world-wide famous, it was normal to get anxious sometimes but no matter how hard he tried, Shawn couldn’t get himself to believe that he would ever get better, he just couldn’t imagine not feeling this way. He hated this situation with every cell, every fibre, of his body, feeling helpless and overwhelmed like nothing was going right, like the world was out to get him. It was getting harder to breathe with every passing second, his throat closing up and tears clouding his vision. When he was younger it was hard for him to understand people who suffered from anxiety, being a pretty calm person at that time, but in moments like these he regretted ever feeling that way, he could understand how horrible it was to feel this way, he felt like he was going crazy, worrying over the smallest and most insignificant things. Shawn knew this wasn’t healthy but he didn’t want people to worry about him, he already worried too much himself. But he was ready to give up, he couldn’t pretend like he was okay anymore. Tears were now rolling down the sides of his face, falling onto the tiles of the bathroom floor, his heart was beating like he just ran a marathon, hands sweaty and shaking. A knock interrupted his thoughts.  
“Shawn? Are you in there? Are you okay?” The girl’s voice asked. She should be the first one to know, she was his girlfriend after all. 

After he managed to stand up, he wiped away his tears and splashed some water on his face, hands still shaking. When he opened the door he came face to face with reality. His girlfriend’s gorgeous face looked up at him, deep lines forming between her eyes as she frowned at him, worry evident in them.  
“You wanna talk about it?” she asked softly, her hands grabbing his’ and guiding him into his bedroom. Everything spilt out of him the second they sat down, all his concerns, his thoughts, his anxiety, even his tears. They talked for hours, his girlfriend telling him he wouldn’t have to go through this alone, that he would always have someone by his side supporting him. As much as his anxiety got to him, Shawn realised that he was not alone, and never would be. His family and friends would always be there for him, helping him through his downs and savouring his ups with him. He wasn’t alone with this.


	2. Nervous

You and Shawn had been acquaintances for a very long time, not really actual friends but you both had mutual friends and always bumped into each other at parties or while hanging out with friends. All these times you couldn’t help but let your eyes drift to the handsome boy who fully managed to captivate you. When you saw him again on a Sunday afternoon in the café you always went to with your best friend to drink a coffee and catch up you couldn’t help but look his way again, you had asked your mutual friends about him, not having seen him in quite some time and you heard he had asked about you too. Just his presence did things to you no one ever managed to do, your hands shaking and your heart racing. His cute little ramblings when you were talking, the way he avoided eye-contact and fiddled with his hands. Just his everything.

Weeks later Shawn finally managed to build up the courage to ask you out and you obviously almost immediately said yes. You were both hanging out with a couple of friends when he decided to ask you out and when you choose to go home, your apartment only being a couple of blocks away, Shawn offered to walk with you. The second you stepped outside you both cursed to yourselves, rain was heavily pouring down and you were certainly by the time you’d reach your apartment you would both be completely drenched. Somehow Shawn managed to convince you to ‘live a little’ and you both stepped out into the rain, making your way to your place. By the time you arrived your concerns had come true and since you didn’t want him to catch a cold you told him to come inside where you gave him some baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt hoping it would fit him. While Shawn got dried and dressed in your bathroom, you took off your clothes and dried down in your bedroom.  
“(Y/N)? Where do you want me to put my wet clo-“  
Suddenly Shawn stood inside your bedroom, you only in your underwear and him shirtless and rubbing a towel through his hair, his clothes and the shirt in his other hand. You both looked at each other without making a move, completely frozen in your stance.  
“Uhm…yo-you can put them in the laundry bag over there,” you pointed to the bag next to the door. Shawn’s eyes glided over your body, taking it in before he turned and put his clothes and the towel in said bag. You walked towards him, a sudden burst of confidence in you and grabbed your shirt out of his hands, looking deeply into his eyes before leaning up and whispering in his ear, “You’re starring, Mendes” before softly taking his earlobe between your teeth, causing him to let out a soft gasp. Before you could even react he turned you both around, pressing you against the wall next to your door.  
“You’re playing with fire, (Y/L/N),” he growled, his lips attaching to your neck, leaving marks on the soft skin.  
“Maybe I like the heat.” Your breath sped up, a quiet moan falling from your lips when he found your sweet-spot, sucking, biting and licking at it all to get the most beautiful sounds out of you.  
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, (Y/N). I get nervous and excited, stressed out and self-conscious when I think about you,” he pulled away, looking into your eyes, searching for a sign that he’d gone too far.   
“Likewise, Shawn,” you mumbled before attacking his lips with yours, your tongue immediately begging for entrance, engaging in a battle for dominance which you lost quickly. His big hands moved down to your hips, over your ass and stopped at your legs, lifting you up and signalling you to wrap your legs around his waist. He carried you to your bed, letting you fall onto it before he crawled on top of you, his arms building a cage next to your head.  
“Tell me when I’m going too far.”

All these moments came flashing back to him when he saw you and your best friend walk into your regular café on a Sunday afternoon. He threw you a smirk when he saw you look his way, your cheeks turning red slightly, clearly remembering the night you spend with him. A scarf was covering your neck, which in turn was covered in dark marks left by the smirking boy sitting in the corner of the café. You quickly pulled out your phone, telling your best friend you needed to check something.

‘I still have your clothes. Pick them up later?’

‘Well, you still owe me a date…’

‘I take that as a yes.’

You shot him a smile, tugging your phone away again and intently listened to your friend telling you about her week. Shawn couldn’t wait for later to come.


	3. Lost In Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This includes smut. Read at own risk.

It was hard maintaining a friendship in which both people somehow always ended up in different time zones. Shawn was touring the world with his new album while you were touring with your album. You were currently enjoying your time in Japan meanwhile Shawn was wrapping up his North America tour. You missed your friend like crazy and the fact that you had developed a crush on him didn’t help you at all. A couple hundred miles away from you Shawn felt the same way, scrolling through Instagram to distract himself but he couldn’t help but think about you. Your smile, the way your laugh sounded like the most beautiful sound in the world, your everything. He just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Suddenly, he got a crazy idea, pulling his laptop closer after sending you a text asking you if you had anything planned for the evening.

Hours later he stood in front of your hotel door, seeing as he took a flight to Japan, more precisely the city your next concert would be in, asking your manager which hotel you stayed in to surprise you. He gently knocked on your door, waiting for you to open it.  
On the other side of the door, you were chilling in some comfortable clothing since you had the rest of the week off from performing. When you heard the knock you were more than confused about who bothered you that late at night. After you managed to untangle yourself from the bedsheets you lazily walked to the door, swinging it open only to be greeted by the sight of what could only be an angel sent from heaven.  
“Shawn?” you exclaimed in disbelief.  
“Surprise!” He spread his arms, grinning from ear to ear as you let him walk into your hotel room.  
“Wha-…what are you doing here?”  
“Well…I wanted to surprise you and I missed you. So here I am,” he chuckled at your confused state before walking over to you and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.  
“How long are you staying?” you asked, your cheeks squishing against his shirt as looking up at your friend.  
“Only a couple hours…” he said sadly.  
“Well, let’s make the most out of our limited time,” you tried to lighten the mood.

You both were laying on your bed, watching a movie on Netflix and even though it seemed to be relatively interesting, you couldn’t focus on what was happening. Your thoughts kept drifting off to the guy beside you, your mind filling with dirty ideas which didn’t want to stop playing in your head. The tension between you two thickened with every passing second, Shawn could feel it and so could you. You pressed your legs together, hoping to relieve some of the tension in your lower regions which didn’t go unnoticed by the singer laying beside you. He turned away from the TV, his eyes boring into yours.  
“Please tell me you feel this too,” his voice cracked as he moved his head closer to yours.  
“Yea…yea, I do,” you breathed out, nodding your head before your lips crashed together. His big hands immediately moved to your hips, pulling you on top his lap while yours tangled in his hair, pulling slightly on it which caused him to moan into your mouth. Your tongues were fighting a battle for dominance which you were clearly losing. Shawn moved his hands up your back underneath your shirt, his fingers softly gliding over your heated skin while his lips moved away from yours, wandering over your jaw, tugging on your earlobe before they settled onto your neck, biting, licking and sucking, leaving his mark for everyone to see. It was like your body reacted on its own, you lost all control of it, your hips grinding down against his growing bulge, pleasure shooting through both your bodies causing you to let out a whimpered moan, your head thrown back, giving Shawn more access to it.  
“You’re sure you want this?” he asked against your neck, voice hoarse and strained.  
“Yes, please.” You raised your arms above your head so Shawn could pull off your shirt, leaving your top half completely exposed to him, your nipples hardening due to the cold air. Before you realised it Shawn managed to turn you both around, your back hitting the mattress while he kneeled above you, his hands pulling off his shirt before he went to hover over you on one arm, the other resting on your hip as he leaned down to passionately kiss you again. While his hand grasped onto your hip, yours slid all over his back, occasionally scratching it which caused him to rock his hips into yours.

“Fuck, Shawn,” you moaned, your hands wandering lower to rub his bulge through his pants, triggering a low groan from him before he moved his hands to get rid of your remaining clothes, leaving you completely naked in front of him. His eyes wandered over your body, taking in every little detail of it while his hand pressed against his covered erection. Neither of you could wait any longer so Shawn didn’t even attempt to completely rid himself of his pants, only pushing them below his butt before he reached to the nightstand to grab a condom. Grabbing it out of his slightly shaking hand, you ripped the packaging open with your teeth, seeing his member twitch out of the corner of your eyes before you reached down to roll the material over his dick, your touch causing him to moan a soft “fuck” into your neck.  
“You’re ready?” Shawn asked softly, the tip of his member brushing against your slick folds, pushing in once you nodded your head at him, giving him the okay to enter you. Once he was fully settled inside you, he came to a halt, letting you adjust to his remarkable size.  
“Shit…please, Shawn, move,” your voice came out more desperate than you wanted to but in that very moment you couldn’t care less, all you wanted was to feel the sweet pleasure of Shawn moving inside you. The singer immediately gave in, moving his hips backwards, nearly completely pulling out before pushing forward again, causing moans and whimpers to fall from both your lips. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the small room, mixed with the various noises leaving your mouths in reaction to the pleasure you were both receiving.  
“God, (Y/N), you-“ he was interrupted by a moan leaving his throat, “you feel so good. Fuck, baby.” You were both panting by now, close to your release when Shawn reached down with one of his hands, stroking your clit with the pad of his thumb.  
“Ah…Fuck! Feels so good, fuck, Shawn, so good,” you mewled, your voice trembling from all the pleasure you were receiving.  
“‘m so close, (Y/N)…tell me you’re there, too.”  
All you could do was nod, your mind hazy, your skin sweaty and your face scrunched up when you finally reached your sweet release, your walls clenching around him, triggering his own orgasm, your nails scratching his skin as your back arched off the sticky mattress while Shawn’s head fell into the nape of your neck, heavy pants brushing over your bruising skin.

After Shawn pulled out and threw away the condom he came back to lay down beside you, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and pulling you to his chest, your head resting on it, hearing his heartbeat returning back to normal again.  
“I’m so in love with you, (Y/N),” Shawn whispered into your ear, “Fuck, I’m gonna miss you so much for the next few weeks.”  
“I’m in love with you, too. We’ll be able to handle it, we got our phones and we can skype and as soon as we’re finished with our tours we can do all the couple stuff, like go to the movies, eat in fancy restaurants, take a road trip, go to the beach-“  
“Have sex on the beach and a lot of other places,” Shawn interrupted you with a wink, causing you both to laugh.  
“Yea, that too,” you chuckled, looking up at him, both your faces glowing with a post-sex glow.  
“We can do whatever you want as long as I’m with you.”  
“Talk about cheesy, Mendes.”  
“Way to ruin the mood, (Y/L/N).”


End file.
